You’ve been on the apps. You’ve gotten off the apps. You’ve tried the new ones and then gone back to the old ones. You’ve sworn them off only to get back on because there are no other options for meeting people. You’re starting to believe there’s something wrong with you because you still haven’t met anyone you’re interested in. We have a little secret to share with you: IT’S NOT YOU.
At Get Dateable we’re fascinated by how people go about finding a partner. In 2024, 19% of singles report they are using dating apps as their main way to try meeting a potential match. As we’ve done a deep dive into the efficacy of online dating, three trends continue to emerge over and over.
- Meeting someone virtually is inherently riddled with problems. Tone and meaning can be misconstrued in written messages. You can text endlessly with someone and never end up moving it to an in-person meeting. People can contemplate and curate their responses to present themselves as funnier, smarter, kinder, or more informed than they actually are. They can post pictures of themselves from 10 years ago or 30 pounds ago. When your interaction with someone is strictly virtual, you are often getting a highly filtered version of them that’s different from what you might get in person. You can waste a lot of time chasing something that will never materialize. On the other hand, you may pass up on a great match because you inaccurately judged them based on a cursory glance at their profile. Most US adults are skeptical or unsure that dating algorithms can predict love, yet they keep using the apps.
- Bad behaviors abound on dating apps. According to the Pew Research Center, 52% of people using dating apps say they’ve come across someone they think was trying to scam them. People hide behind their screens and engage in behaviors they would never demonstrate if they were face to face with someone. One of the most common bad behaviors we see online is ghosting, where someone suddenly stops talking to or responding to another person without any explanation or warning. They basically vanish into thin air instead of having a straightforward conversation or ending things properly. They just disappear, leaving the other person feeling confused, hurt. abandoned, and wondering what they did wrong. Another common bad behavior on the apps is posing, where a person pretends to be someone they're not, usually to impress others or fit in with a certain group. It often takes weeks or even months to figure out the deceit, causing anger, hurt feelings, and wasted time.
- People are lonely, and they’re tired of the emptiness they feel when their relationships are virtual. Our brains evolved to interact with others in 3D. From an evolutionary perspective, it’s only relatively recent that we could communicate with someone who wasn’t in our physical presence. Humans are accustomed to using all five senses to take in the essence of another person. When we are merely seeing a photo of someone, reading words they’ve written, watching a video of them, or even interacting with them in real time on a phone or a screen, it inherently lacks the satisfaction of in-person contact. If you’re left wanting more after virtual interactions, it’s your biology talking. We are constantly seeking more likes, more views, more comments, more DMs because we’re trying to fill a void that can never be filled with 2D engagement.
If you’re longing for something real and satisfying, Get Dateable has your back. We’ve put years of experience to work building a program that avoids these three pitfalls and helps you find a satisfying relationship without the hassle of being on the apps. Contact us today, info@getdateable.com.
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