According to current research, 96% of single folks are struggling with the dating process. It’s a frustrating venture and we see it every day. Folks get on the apps, they swear off the apps, then they get back on. They try singles events, speed dating, and getting set up by friends or family. Take Nicole, a 35 year old woman who has been single for the last 7 years. Nicole is smart, attractive, and the owner of a successful Austin-based business. She’s been on Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, and Raya. She has attended many singles events and agreed to blind dates with friends of friends. She’s had lots of first dates, a handful of subsequent dates, and a couple of relationships that lasted a month or two. Nothing ever turned into something long term. When she came to Get Dateable, Nicole was disheartened with the process of dating, and feeling hopeless about ever finding a partner.
Our mission at Get Dateable is to help people who are fed up with the dating apps make small, powerful shifts so they can rediscover the joy and excitement of dating. This business was born from seeing our clients’ pain around dating and trying to find the right partner. Have you ever heard the expression, “You can’t read the label from inside the bottle?” We were able to see Nicole from a perspective that she couldn’t see herself. She’s a fabulous person doing lots of things right. But there were some small shifts she needed to make that she was unaware of.
Nicole was making lists of the qualities she wanted in a partner, hoping to manifest the perfect man. Not a bad idea, but also missing a big piece. We encouraged her to bring us the list and we went over it item by item. She wanted a man who is honest, kind, transparent, fit, healthy, motivated, and loyal, among other things. We asked her to compare herself to this list of desirable qualities and she was a little surprised when she really sat down to take a look. For example, she was looking for honesty but she was secretly stalking her potential dates’ social media accounts. She wanted to find a partner who’s loyal, but she was keeping the door open with a few of her past dates “just in case.” Having a boyfriend with healthy habits was high on her list, but she was smoking and drinking at an alarming rate. She justified all this by saying she would stop these behaviors as soon as she found the person she wanted to be with.
What we know at Get Dateable is that you have to get yourself in alignment first, and then the partner you’re looking for will show up. Your energy aligns with your behavior. If you’re exhibiting behaviors you don’t want, you’re going to attract the kinds of dates who aren’t what you want. It’s a win/win proposition, because becoming your best self will always pay off for you in the long run, and it will likely also lead you to finding the kind of partner you’ve been looking for.