- Lack of confidence. Being unsure of your social skills is a sure way to turn off potential dates. If you’re lacking confidence, find a dating coach who can help you identify ways to feel more confident and enjoy the dating experience.
- Being on the apps. Apps give you a choice of saying whether you want something casual or something long-term. Folks who really want a long-term relationship are afraid of scaring off potential partners, so they try to act more casual. Don’t go to a pond with algae if you’re looking for clean drinking water.
- Being fake. Authenticity is the number one factor that draws the right people to you. If you’re trying to be someone you’re not, posing to act cooler or more successful than you really are, you are actually repelling the people you most want to attract.
- Not getting out enough. People have become so accustomed to living virtual lives that they can go days or even weeks without seeing another human in person. We have our groceries delivered, we pay for gas at the pump, we see our physicians and therapists online, we socialize on social media. If you want to meet real people you’re going to have to go out into the real world.
- Not communicating clearly. Telling a potential date what you want and don’t want is a gift to both them and to yourself. Clear communication sets both parties up for success. Don’t be tempted to skate around the truth for fear of alienating someone or hurting their feelings. Clear is kind.
- Too many choices. Dating apps give us the illusion that there are unlimited numbers of potential partners out there so if one thing doesn’t work out there are always more options. If this is true, why aren’t people finding successful matches? The fallacy of unlimited choices keeps us skipping over potentially great partners because we always think there might be someone better.
- Expecting a partner to have traits you don’t have yourself. If you want to find someone who is stable, fit, kind, successful, stylish, and happy, have you looked in the mirror to see if you are bringing these things to the table?
- Unresolved issues from past relationships. If you’ve been hurt by a previous partner, you may be bringing trust issues into your current search for a match. Make sure you’ve taken responsibility for your own healing before putting yourself back out there.
- Emotional unavailability. You may be subconsciously avoiding a connection with potential partners because you’re afraid of being vulnerable and possibly getting hurt. The only way to truly be close to another person is to let your guard down and let others see who you really are.
- Unbalanced priorities. You may be letting work, hobbies, family, or friendships get in the way of making time for a dating relationship. Take a look at what you really want and make sure you are planning your life accordingly.
If you’re struggling with one or more of these issues, Get Dateable can help! Contact us for a free consultation today.
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